July 15, 2009
On the plane I sat in the middle of two older women's conversation: one black one white. The black lady asks me. "Do you know what a cougar is?"
"Yes." I said, the white lady said no.
"Guess how old I am?"
White lady, "I don't know you look good."
"Well my oldest son is 40. I have 10 grand kids and 3 great grandkids… and my husband is 30." She turned her head in a look mixed with humor and shame, then followed it with what I guess she thought needed justification.
"We have been talking for six months over the internet and this is my first time seeing him. I love his accent. I love him and we love each other. It's an adventure. I would have never planned this. Oh no. God works in mysterious ways. " Once she turned around and sat down in the row ahead of us the white lady said, "She's brave." To which I said, "She's something."
The white lady then told me about how she is going to Ghana to teach children how to make paper in Kumasi. She learned a certain paper-making form in Madagascar. The organization found out that she knew it and invited her.
These two conversations made me think of one thing: Infatuation with Otherness. The cougar's husband died two years ago. She said she finished raising her kids and it was time to do something for herself. Now, I think that is important, but would she have been dating a poor African American man with three kids? "It's the accent" and "adventure" that makes this more than just marrying a man, its bigger than that. It's something outside of her. Something other than her norm that makes the situation intriguing…the man intriguing. It's Stella Got Her Groove Back part two. But as we know, in reality Terry McMillan's very young and low-income Jamaican honey turned out to be gay and was really just trying to get out of the country. Since professional black women are dying at an alarming early rate of stressed-induced heart disease and are less likely to get married than any other woman in America, I'm wondering about our love choices?
With the white lady flying to Africa to teach Africans how to make paper via a process that is done by Africans baffles me. Why couldn't the Ghanaian organization invite someone from Madagascar? To many times I have had interactions with Africans who put people of European decent on a pedestal. Is learning how to make paper from the American more interesting than if it was taught by someone from Madagascar? Kind of like watching celebrities on Dancing with Stars learning dances created by brown people but aren't taught by them.
I arrived in Ghana and its hot. Not too too bad though. I had a straight flight from New York so that made the plane ride much easier. I didn't sleep well on the plane because the seats were too close for my liking. It was good though that I didn't have anyone on either side of me. I received an email some weeks ago about me being given the opportunity to upgrade to business class for just the cost of one mile. As I passed the plush fully-reclining chairs on my way to disembark the plane, I regretted my procrastination.
As I went through the airport, I prepared myself for 90,000 people wanting to help me with my bags. And continuing to tell them no. In the midst of the influx of persistent baggage handlers someone called my name. It was odd at first because the only person I had met already that was expecting me was Elvis, the director of the orphanage. He told me that he wouldn't be able to pick me up and his assistant would have a sign with my name on it. I discovered that the person who called me was Vivian, Mark's assistant. Mark has a global internet craft business and asked me to deliver a computer to her. He gave her a picture of me and she recognized who I was. I gave her the computer and then I found Elvis' assistant. We took two taxis' and a tro tro (local transportation like a bus service but with vans) to ride two hours to Cape Coast. The whole trip took about 6 hours. The van had to wait to be filled with passengers in order to make the most of the trip.
I'm arriving just days after Obama's visit. There are signs everywhere, welcoming him with pictures of him and Ghana's president claiming that they are going to work together for change. Not sure if that's actually going to happen. It could have been more of a political move for Ghana's current president who appears to be on somewhat political shaky ground.
Elvis told me about the mixed feelings people had about Obama's visit. And as I read some news papers, it truly is an interesting mix. In one newspaper it asked, "Why did the rain stop when Obama came?" Ghana is in the rainy season and days before Obama's arrival it was raining so bad many cities were flooded. On the day Obama came the rain stopped, then rained again after he left. As you read the article, it's a question that places Obama too close to some form of deity. A tad problematic for me. Another paper inquired if Obama has an ulterior motive. Ghana recently discovered oil and has the potential to be a large player in the global fossil fuels trade.
Others said, some were angry that the Ghanaian president John Evan Atta Mills, spent a substantial amount of money renovating the palace, painting buildings, and hiring 40,000 Ghanaian police man used to protect the Obama, who already had a security team. Many people are upset at this for a couple of reasons. A) Ghana, who needs work on infrastructure (sewage, electricity, water etc and also has a petro shortage) and need funds for public education, could have used the money from Obama's visit for other areas in the country. B) Virtually no one got to see Obama. The roads were closed and all events occurred inside. Most of this discussion happened after we arrived at my host family's house. It would be considered middle class. They have a car, running water, cable and I have my own room. No hot water though, I have to ask one of the house-helps to heat some up for me. There are two of them. Both are about fourteen and completing junior high. All levels of school are not free in Ghana, so, many girls become house-helps. They cook and clean for a family and the family houses them and pays for their schooling. Last summer I got into a discussion with our tour guide Damba about house-helps. He said many women don't want them in the homes especially if the wife works because, men have cheated on their wives with the young girls in the home. The father of my host family is a pastor so, I hope that doesn't happen. Since they have two house-helps they must have more money than most. Last summer I wanted to go to a church but didn't. I'm glad that I will be able to here since they are a church family. They have a huge picture of a white Jesus in the living room. I decided my first day is probably too early to ask them how they feel about that image.
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